Won't you be my neighbor?

I would like to celebrate Mister Rogers as our most missed celeb today. He was a welcome visitor after school for many, many years. However, I was always a little creeped out by that one puppet in make believe land. I can't remember her name. At any rate. He was a part of many childhoods when things were simple. I wish our generation of children would get to involve his little cardigan sweaters and shoe changing into their lives, too.

I think I have regained the focus that I lost earlier in the week. I already got a little work done, checked on my Facebook friends and am blogging. So, I think I will work on my manuscript (I recently found out that this is the proper word for a work of writing in progress) for a while and then get ready for the weekend. So, I plan to check back in over the next couple of days. Hopefully, I will have a good story to tell like I posted on my fan page last night. How do you spell asterisk? A-S-S-T-E-R-I-X For the love of God. Until then, keep dreaming and stay tuned....

P.S. You must go check out Super Earthling's latest blog!

I can't focus!!!!

The only thing I can figure is that I finally have too much going on. I have twelve tabs open in my Internet Explorer. I am working the Fan page and studying life insurance and checking on the class for my MBA and I have a window open with my manuscript. I think it would be best for me to just concentrate on one thing for a specified amount of time. So, I will write here and then regroup.

It would probably be easier to concentrate if there wasn't a freaking weed eater blaring at the window! For the love....

Okay. I'm going to go get another cup of coffee. Let's remember Corey Haim today. I have a couple of things to soap box real quick. Thing one...who watches out for the kids that find themselves in a celebrity status? It think it is a travesty that these kids very rarely grow up to be well rounded adults with a good head on their shoulders. It seems so often that once the cute kid has worn out of their appearance, they are discarded. Thing two...why is it that it is newsworthy for days when a celeb dies but once the viewers presence is on to other newsworthy things, we forget that they had a life once, too. We forget that some where, there is someone that misses them every day.

Brain Cramp

Photo credit: here

Wow. I got experience rush hour traffic for the first time in two months today. I will tell you this, I have NOT missed it. The commute there really wasn't too bad. I made the 47 mile drive in about 50 minutes with no stop and go. The drive home? Completely different story. Some old dude blew up his car on the shoulder of the road at my 25 minute mark. I had 40 minutes to get Little Mister picked up and made it about 10 minutes late.

I am in training for the Financial Professional Associate position at Prudential. It is both exhilarating and tiring. It has been so long since I have been aptly challenged that it is fun but my poor little brain is bombarded with information! I am feeling really confident that his is a great opportunity and I am going to make a career of it.

I am aspiring to get more writing done tonight. Since I awoke with a start yesterday evening, I whipped out a few thousand words and plan to match that again tonight! I hope everyone had a fabulous and personally productive day!

In conclusion, let us remember our missed celebrity of the day, Patrick Swayze (and Jennifer Grey's nose).

Most missed celebs...

I need to get dressed and out the door soonish, but I've decided to make a daily tribute (it will probably be weekly) to our most missed celebs. Today, in celebration of laundry discoveries on Monday, I vote this guy as the most missed. Who agrees?

Who am I?

I did attempt to sum myself up in the bio thing on Google or blogspot.com or where ever I last posted about myself, but I doubt I got everything down there so I am taking some inspiration from You Know It Happens At Your House Too. I'm really trying to think of 15 things about myself. Well, here it goes.

1. I have always wanted to write.
I have wanted to write since I was really young. It was one of those dreamy things I thought of back in the day of pouring through book after book by Judy Blume. Are you there God, it's me Margaret was one of my all-time favorite faves. Anyway. I am writing my first book now and think it will be a great one! Even if it turns out that my friends are the only people that ever read it, I will have a published book. Check that off my whatever list.

2. I dropped out of high school.
Why am I telling you this? I don't know. Just seems kind of interesting. I was in the honors program which I later realized was just a trick that They did to kids to get them in harder classes to graduate. I would have been fine and would have graduated with no problem but my rebellious nature wouldn't allow for it. I had 2.5 credits to go and would have graduated a year early. I couldn't take it anymore so I made my parents unenroll me. I immediately got my G.E.D. and started college.

3. The first boy I kissed was named Clark.
I have been boy crazy since I could think. The first boy I kissed, named Clark, was in Mother's Day Out so that made me four. Luckily, when he and his mom stopped me and my Mom at the grocery store, he told my Mom he was going to marry me. Once he said that, I never spoke to him again. Funny how that attitude stuck with me the rest of my life....

4. I have only lost one person close to my heart.
I know I will be devastated when I experience this again. I lost my great-grandmother when I was five and have been blessed not to endure the pain of losing anyone else since. I have no idea how that happened.

5. I love pedicures.
I know, what woman doesn't love having her feet f***ed? Ever since I got over the fact that my toes are weird, I have loved to get pedicures. You see, when I was in 4th grade a friend's little brother gave me a huge complex over my toes. I went many years without allowing my feet to be seen. Overcoming that complex was a pretty big deal to me.

6. I am known as a quitter.
I know I have mentioned this in previous blogs, but it is very relevant to who I am. I spent a lot time quitting things....school, relationships, jobs, cities, etc. I decided, once and for all, that I would no longer fall victim to this train of thought. I mean, I couldn't just quit being a mom and that has felt good. I do allow myself breaks from everything now but I pick back up and get back to it now instead of just quitting and never looking back.

7. The weather scares me.
Yes, it doesn't really matter where I am or who I am with. I have not experienced a hurricane but last spring's super hail storm at my Mom's house certainly felt equivalent. I am certain that we all suffered an undiagnosed case of PT SD following that storm. Thunderstorms are not my friend. I have respect but no like.

8. I was born in Colorado.
Everyone has always known me as nomadic but it isn't my fault. My parents moved off to Denver when they were young hippies. That's where I was born. We lived there for a couple of years then my life of moving started with a 15 year pause. It went something like this...Denver; Duncan, OK; Garland, TX; then three different houses in Dallas. The third one was for the balance of my childhood starting when I was 5. I won't even get into to the gypsy life style that I have been a part of since I moved out at 16ish.

9. I am left handed.
Totally unimportant, right? I have always been proud of writing with the "wrong" hand. Its just right in line with my rebellious nature. What's funny is that I am left handed as is Little Mister's father. L.M. is completely right handed. I guess that hand didn't carry the dominant gene.

10. I really do love being a mom.
Yes, little dude can get on ma nerves. I'm not afraid to say that. He only recently started irritating with his continued arguing with me about things that I KNOW as fact. I know where he gets this over confident nature. Between his father and myself, the poor child never had a chance in hell of being quiet and demure nor of not being opinionated. Anyway. He is the most angelic, well mannered child most of the time. He saves all his "bad" behavior for his mom. That's okay. I love him more than anything and wouldn't trade him in for anything. Well, that would just depend on what was at stake. I kid.

11. I want to be married.
Some day. I don't know when the "right" time will be but it would be nice to happen some time. I'm a pain in the ass and impossible to keep focused. It takes someone very special to handle me. The man that has put up with my shit the longest is still currently a part of my life, when I will let him. I'm already starting to go grey so as I get older, I guess we get closer.

12. I have dumb luck.
I choose to look at this positively. Things happen to me that just don't happen to other people. I think I will save the details of this for another blogging event.

13. I love donuts.
The most useless piece of pastry there is and I love them. I judge a good donut shop based on the quality of the donut holes. I can tell which ones are fried in the same kind of oil as the lunch time won tons. I can tell if they are fried in vegetable oil or if they are in the frier too long. If the shop doesn't pass the hole test, I give them a second chance based on the quality of the chocolate glaze.

14. Hair spray is my friend.
I have been told that I have to be the only person left alive that uses aerosol hair spray. Well, obviously not or it wouldn't be sold in the store. I have to have hair spray; needed it since the days of Aqua Net and Rave and don't plan on ever giving it up. When the whole CFC thing came about, I tried one pump hairspray. Screw that. If I wanted my style to be damp, I would just put my head under the sink. I immediately tossed the pump and bought another bottle of Aqua Net. I don't know if the same particles are still involved and I decided my hair couldn't afford to care.

15. I only use black hangers.
I am OCD about the oddest things. One day when I was putting up laundry, I noticed that none of my clothes hung the same and that there was a variety of wire, plastic and store hangers in my closet. I promptly yanked all the clothes down and through all of the mismatch hangers in the dumpster. I went to Wal-Mart and bought several hundred black, plastic hangers. The habit was set from there.

Well, there are some little known facts about me. Again, I thank You Know It Happens At Your House Too for the inspiration and motivation. I spend enough time self-reflecting that I feel comfortable being who I am. Now you know a little more about me, too.

Stay tuned....

How now, brown cow?

Photo from InfoBarrel

It came from all directions yesterday. The particles of non-energy in my atmosphere were abounding. I had no inspiration for anything!

I sat down to blog....stared at the blank page. I decided to work on the ghastly paper for Global Financial Management; managed to get the introduction done and stared at the rest of the blank pages. I thought, "Well, maybe I can work on my book." Boo. Nothin. Nada.

As you can see, I have started a new day with new inspiration. I feel good about this day and what I can accomplish. I thank Not-so-plain Jane for making mention of What Inside Voice? on her fan page. That was nice to wake up to. I actually feel like my fingers work again. Time to transfer thoughts to the page.

On another note, I went with a dear friend to the DARA conference yesterday. It was super informative. I wish someone would tell me what genre I am writing this book for. I still don't know where, exactly, it fits in. Lorraine Heath was the guest speaker. It was totally worth the gas to drive to Richardson for all the knowledge that she shared.

Okay. Well, I am going to take advantage of these words flowing and get the stupid paper done. Y'all take care and stay tuned....

I'm gonna bust a gut...

Photo credit: A girl named Ashley that is in college

Oh my, Lord. Oh my, Jesus. I have accidentally stumbled on some pure hilarity this evening!!!!! I had all these great little tidbits to share to make you laugh but I'm too busy laughing at other people, in a good way, tonight!!! You will see that I am now following several new blogs. Go check them out. I promise many laughs!!! I have several new likes on Facebook as well. The two of most note are Super Earthling and Not-so-plain Jane. I am also REALLY curious to delve into You Know It Happens at Your House Too. I should be writing a stupid paper but I am very busy. I'll get to that paper sometime before Sunday at midnight.

Stay tuned.... I hope I can share a recipe or wisdom about losing socks from the washer to the dryer this weekend. Adios!

T.G.I.F.

Well, another week is over. No, I did not weigh in this morning. I decided that I didn't want to start the weekend with a dose of depression. I fell off the dietary wagon several times this week and didn't want the visualization of my failure. I'll save it for next week.

Going to a literary conference with a friend tomorrow. I have to drive across town to get there by 8 a.m. I'm thinking it will cost me more in gas to get there than the price of admission. Oh well, such is life.

On the agenda today, clean the house! I have been so distracted with writing and building the blog and fan base, that my daily duties have been slightly ignored. I wanted to hop on and touch base with everyone; just to let ya know I care.

There will be more adventures to talk about next week! Stay tuned....

Lacking Motivation

This is how I am feeling. I have a coffee date this afternoon, so I am trying to hold off on consumption until then. Thanks Alicia Anderson-Armstrong for posting this picture on STFD's fan page.

I have decided that I completely lack all motivation today. There are million things that need to be done but I don't wanna. So, I will sit here with my wet hair and post a blog. That is the best I can do right now.

Since I start the new career on Monday, I guess it isn't too terrible to enjoy a couple of days of laziness. Well, guys, I have really have nothing profound to say! So, we'll talk tomorrow. It is Friday and I am thinking that they weigh-in might not be a good idea. Oh! Here is something I can share with you. I came up with a really good, pretty quick pasta dish last night.

1 jar Alfredo sauce of your choice
1/4 cup milk
2 tablespoons butter
1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 small onion
1 8 oz package of prosciutto ham
2 tomatoes
1 package

Brown the chicken in a skillet, set aside. Chop up onion and prosciutto. Melt two tablespoons butter in skillet (I used the one I cooked the chicken in) to saute the onion and prosciutto. While onion and prosciutto is in the skillet, pour the jar of Alfredo sauce and 1/4 cup milk in saucepan. Cut chicken up into bite size pieces. Add the onion and ham to the Alfredo sauce. Add the chicken. Allow sauce to warm on medium heat. While sauce is warming, boil noodles. When the noodles are done, drain them. Chop up the tomatoes, add to the sauce. Serve sauce over noodles. Pretty good stuff!

Well, that's it for now. Stay tuned....

I quit quitting coffee

Yes, I have decided that I am a quitter. I quit quitting coffee. I changed to a fat free creamer and will only have one cup, two when time is allowed, again. Thank you Shut The Front Door for posting this Bluntcard to remind me that coffee does, in fact, make dealing with me more palatable.

I won a contest yesterday! It has been a while since I won anything. Thank you DFW.com for appreciating the pick up of Fred Sanford and Keanu Reeves in the essay. I'm sorry, while I like art, I am not well versed on the artists. I hope that the experience at Kimball Art Museum, The Age of Impressionism, will give me better insight. I am picking up my tickets today! Now, I feel like I need to see what other contests I can enter.

Well, the coffee is brewed. Time to get this day underway. Stay tuned....

Rain, rain go away...

Photo credit here


I don't have much to say today. Lots to do and a planner full of tasks. Yes, I finally broke down and bought a planner. I don't trust myself to remember everything ever day and I get tired of typing in key word reminders on my phone and then not remembering what the key word was supposed to remind me of. It's kind of like putting something away in a special place so you don't forget where you put it? You know, you go to look for said thing at a later date and can't remember where the hell you put it.

Oh! I do have one really cool thing to report. Okay, okay. Just a couple. So my dear friend, who still wishes to remain anonymous, made contact with her favorite author. This is all super cool because she just, on a whim, emailed her. Oh, she has a blog you should check out, too:

http://theilliterateliterarian.blogspot.com/

I am so proud of her for breaking out of her comfort zone. She has been doing so many things that are just out of character for her, in only positive ways. I have another friend that dreamt of making custom bowling balls and another that is working on a screen play and will be releasing his first record soon. It just seems like that solar storm may have passed without "incident" but it definitely left some particles of creativity in the atmosphere, if you ask me.

Well, I need to get out and run some errands. Stay tuned....

Just another woman driver

Good morning, readers. I am not going to bore you with a play-by-play of the weekend, but I do want to share this highlight. First, my car has some front end issues from a curb getting in the way about a year ago. I noticed that the tires on the front had just about worn to bald and decided to finally have it checked out. You know, I just figured that every car I ever own would have a slight off-center characteristic for the steering wheel. Well, I took it to Christian Brother Automotive in Burleson. I feel almost blasphemous talking poorly of them. Its like this, a mechanic is a mechanic. Hopefully, you find one that cares enough about integrity and repeat business to be honest. I thought with the name of Christian Brothers, it was a no-brainer that this is what I would find there. So, here is my opinion. The place has a gorgeous lobby and waiting area. The gentleman at the front desk offers coffee and beverages while you wait. There is contemporary Christian music playing over head. All-in-all, it is a comfortable experience. So, I take the car to them. Imagine my elation when the gentleman tells me there is nothing wrong with the front end. He tells me to replace the balding tires and they will do the alignment. Praise be! I was ecstatic. Well, I budgeted the $500 to replace the tires and returned to do the alignment. My car was in the bay for about 30 minutes when the same gentleman that told me nothing was wrong came out to tell me they couldn't do the alignment. "You smacked something pretty hard on that right side, didn't you?" "Uh, yes. I told you that I hit a curb." He explained to me that the right strut was really bent and that it needed to be replaced and if you replace the right, you need to do the left. He handed me the estimate. My eyes popped out. I said, "No. What I need to do is go home and think about whether or not this is the wisest way for me to spend $900 right now." He chuckled at me like I was making the worst decision of my life and I went home. I really feel like this is a gross mis-use of the Christian philosophy. I know I can't speak for everyone at every facility but it is unfortunate that this experience has tainted my opinion. I mulled this over for about a week and started exploring other options. The picture above is a gentleman's card that I picked up on Friday. Harold was extremely pleasant and felt very honest. He offered to replace both struts (if I provide the parts) for $240. From what I have priced, I should be able to pick up the parts for a little over $200. He also told me that he is willing to replace the right one first if I am in a monetary bind. He suggested that I do both and get it aligned. He also told me that replacing the right and aligning would cause it to need a full alignment again when I replace the left. See? He talked to me. He gave me information and options and reasons why or why not. THAT is how to get my woman business if you are a mechanic. Don't just shake your head and tell me what I need to do like you are striking out the commandments on a tablet. My advice here is that if you are in the area, Harold is a good guy. I am planning on getting my car up to him in a couple of weeks so I can drive straight again.

Take a load off Fanny

Yes. I got the official diploma that I have graduated to winning. I didn't know I had even applied but there it was from the Deviant School of Winners. I wasn't sure how to react when I received it. Shock and amazement was all I could come up with.

Anywho. So, apparently, I am winning some battles. I guess it is preparation for the war. My buddy and pal, Mr. Scale, was pleased to announce that I am down almost 10 pounds. I attribute this to the high level of adrenaline I have been operating on. I am supposing that is equivalent to an increased metabolism.

I met with my publisher yesterday. He gave me some good constructive criticism of my writing efforts but he loves the story. I made sure he is comfortable with the plot as there are some pretty controversial topics that are covered. Well, this is right in line with me as a person. So, we set some deadlines and we are expecting to take the book to press in a month. Yikes! The pressure is on now. I mean, I only have about 20,000 words to extrapolate from my head that make a story.

Off to the other company this morning. I should get the call of complete confirmation in the next 35 minutes. This is pretty exciting! Fingers crossed.

Okay, fans and anonymous readers. I want to thank you for coming here to read my diary even if I can't properly thank you because I don't know who you are. Don't forget to come see me on Facebook. (Audrey Larkins or What Inside Voice?) While you are at, show some love to my dear friends Erin Michael and Megans Munchies. Oh, and I have a new acquaintance, too. You MUST check out her page; it is hilarious...STFD. So, until later, keep dreaming and stay tuned....

Becoming Jordyn

Album art courtesy of Amazon.com

Last night I sat down to write and realized I had hit my first bit of writer's block. As it turns out, I really just didn't want to take the story where I felt like it needed to go. Alas, I went there as I usually do with most things in life. I decided that I need to get more into Jordyn to really get the story out. I am so thankful for my overactive, negative imagination right now. So, in the car on the way to Dallas, I was listening to an old CD that I ran across in the console. Why it was there, I have no clue but there it was. I popped the CD in and started skipping through songs because they just weren't getting the mood that I was looking for. I hit tracks 7, 8 and 9 and got what I was after. So funny that I can tell you track numbers now but most likely have no idea what the song is actually titled. I had to come look them up. Yes, I think they will be good for getting into character. I still have a lot of work to do on the story. Almost all of it is out of my head and then I can work on the details and the edit. I am so excited! After I meet with the publisher, I am sure that I will have deadlines, etc. I will post an update and let everyone know how it went and all that good stuff.

Surreally real!

So, yes. This is how I have felt all day today. I may still be in last night's pj's and I'm not sure if I ate but it was a freakin' fliptastic do a cart wheel and shoot rainbows kind of day. I have never felt so sure of the path I am on. I already ranted this morning. I am exhausted and I think the adrenaline high is finally wearing off. I will have more to say tomorrow....you know after I have a working lunch with a dear friend and then...MEET WITH MY PUBLISHER!!!!!! Okay. That's all. Now, keep dreaming and stay tuned.....

Why I refuse to conform to the iPhone way of life

I refuse to give in and move to the world of the iPhone. Yes, I do appreciate the advances in technology, blah, blah. I have an LG phone built on the Android platform; it is a touch screen. I see all the problems people are having with the iPhones and I am a little confused how Apple can keep releasing new, bigger and better versions of something that has yet to be perfected and people keep running out to buy a new one. "Oh, I can't wait to get my new 4S!" What does that even mean??? It is perplexing. I'm going to rundown through all the reasons why I refuse to move over to the iPhone.

Reason #1 Stated above. I am rebellious and refuse to do what everyone else is doing unless it actually suites me.

Reason #2 I am hard on phones. When I was being afforded a Blackberry by my employer, I had to bother the office manager on a bi-weekly basis to get me another one. These phones were more durable even than the iPhone but they still couldn't take much of the abuse I offer. The phone I have now has eaten pavement so many times that it really looks pathetic. It has been dropped from shoulder heights to the ground enough times that the battery cover automatically pops off and the battery goes in a separate direction from the other pieces of the phone. Let me tell you that it is fun to locate all of the pieces...in the rain....in a parking lot....under anonymous cars that you hope you are going to beat out of the parking spot while on the search. But, the phone keeps working. I imagine that as it flies out of my hand and starts the cart wheel toward the ground it thinks, "Oh, boy. Here we go again." Anyway. The point here is that it still works. Everyone I know is on the third, fourth, fifth, six or more replacement. Now, this wouldn't be too terrible IF they have insurance on the phone and have to pay a minimal fee for replacement. From what I understand, Apple has only recently begun to offer insurance and it won't cover phones purchased before X date. People are still buying the damn things. I'm not sure what the terms are of the insurance because I am so anti-iPhone. I am willing to bet it isn't a minimal charge of a few bucks a month and a minimal ($50-80) deductible to replace. You know why? Because they break all the time!!!!

Reason #3 Autocorrect. Need I say anymore? Everyone I know on the iPhone band wagon has shocked and surprised me with the texts I have received. For instance...My sister texts me "Hey," her smarty pants iPhone thinks it best to autocorrect it to "Gassy." How the hell does that happen? In what dictionary do those two words even slightly resemble one another. I bet they aren't even synonymous in the Urban Dictionary. Another example of autocorrect at its finest: a dear friend of mine that is expecting. I sent her a picture of dilled green beans that were purchased at the Great Big Texas Home Show over the weekend. See, we learned of these fabulous green beans in a Bloody Mary some time ago. I hate olives in a Bloody Mary and have never understand why they are thought to compliment the drink. Well, autocorrect messaged me back that she would love a closet Mary when the time comes. ??? What? Example number three: a new mommy acquaintance. She and I were texting back and forth about me offering to cart her boy to soccer practice with Little Mister. I told her that I offer because her boy is so adorable. She replies back with a lengthy text that began with "Asses..." ??? Really? She was embarrassed and replied back her disdain with autocorrect and apologized for the phone causing her to curse at someone she had only met one time. I have been known to curse like a sailor so this wasn't offensive to me; I simply felt uncomfortable with the awkwardness of the moment. Thanks, Apple. I understand that if I had an iPhone I could just screen print the conversation and paste it here. How lazy. I'd rather tell the story than just paste a private conversation.

Reason #4 My Mom (and others) butt dial me constantly. Now, I am not sure if this is user error or the fault of the iPhone but I am blaming Apple. I get all excited that someone is calling me and answer the phone with my enthusiastic, "Hello!" What do I hear in the background? Well, it goes two ways. Either I hear the shuffling of material against the phone speaker or I hear everything in the background like a fly on the wall. In some cases this might actually turn out advantageous but it isn't supposed to be! So, Apple really should work on the locking "app" or some such on their little phones.

Reason #5 The "updates" are severely flawed. I am just about sick and tired of seeing posts on the social networking sites that are along the lines of "please message me your number. I updated my phone and lost all my contacts." WHAT? How is this helpful and what, exactly, was fixed that wasn't broken to begin with that, in turn, broke the phone?

I just don't get the fascination with a phone that costs upward and over a couple hundred bucks. The insurance sucks. The phone will break; God forbid you have a case of fumble fingers and drop it one time. I am sick of having uncomfortable moments with people over autocorrect typos and last of all, I am tired of being called from the location of some one's ass. That's it for my rant today. Stay tuned....

Little Mister

                                                                         Little Mister

I had a busy, busy day today. A four hour coffee date with the girls will do that! Well, there was a 2 hour visit to Starbuck's followed by lunch at Snappy Salads which was aptly reviewed at Megan's Munchies! I just wanted to pop on to introduce everyone to Little Mister. Yes, he sports the boots and hat very well. ; )

I will have more to say tomorrow but the rest of the evening (and probably the night) is dedicated to writing my book. Remember? Jordyn Danielle Parker stars in Unveiled... Don't forget to come visit me at www.facebook.com/whatinsidevoice! Keep dreaming and stay tuned....

When Tuesday's gone...

Good morning, peeps. I wanted to take a minute to check in. I have a busy day ahead. I'm sure you are surprised.

There have been some new twists in the plot as of late. Remember I mentioned that I was reading a book that a dear friend wrote? Yeah, well. Guess who spent the entire day yesterday starting a book of their very own? Yep. That's right. I did! It's good y'all. Like, it made ME cry while I was writing it. I haven't quite figured out how I want to make the next move in the story but I have a couple of ideas. I felt myself getting that burned out feeling that I get with school so I saved it and closed. I was ready to go ahead and end the story but there is still so much to tell!

I got an email from the HR people at the previously mentioned company. I'm not sure if this bad. I was asked to provide a statement regarding a termination at a job over 10 years ago. I know I listed it on the application because I was going through my jobs chronilogically. I should have communicated with them about it prior to this morning but if I wasn't job listing, I forgot about it. I was only at that place for like 3 months anyway. I just simply forgot. It isn't like I got fired for embezzlement. It was just having an office tattle tale. I went on a job interview over my lunch break and said tattle tale decided that it was important for management to know what I had done on my own time. Well, I was promptly terminated the next morning. Apparently, this action created trust issues or something. Well, let me tell you that the feeling was mutual. When you are a 22 year old babe in the woods all caught up in fancy offices and skyscrapers, it isn't a very secure feeling to sit down in a chair that is still warm from the person before you on your first day. That was AFTER I saw this poor woman scooting toward the elevators with a box in her arms and tears streaming down her face. There were a couple of other things that happened that I felt sure that I had made a mistake going to work there so the termination was just fine with me.

Well, that's the quick version for now. I will get an Audrella (my new word. It has a fickle meaning. It can be a note, a memo, a long winded email, any kind of literary contribution any where that doesn't fit the existing parameters for writing endeavors). So, until later, keep dreaming! Stay tuned.....

Manic Sunday???

Holy wow! I have had an emotionally tumultuous day today. I know, I probably shouldn't be surprised, right? I am known to be all over the map, not only in what I do but in my emotional state as well. So, today I woke up in a rather melancholy mood for no real apparent reason. Wow. I just can't get over how emotionally charged I am right now! Yee. Shew. Regroup, Audrey, compose yourself.

Okay. So, Little Mister and I decided to go see a friend at the Great Big Texas Home Show. Little Mister kept referring to the venue as Cowboy City rather than Stadium. He was an absolute perfect child today. This mommy was beaming from ear to ear all day. He demanded to wear his cowboy boots and cowboy hat (yes, like traditional not supporting the football team) without having any idea where our day's field trip would be. I could not tell you how many people walked past us complimenting him on his attire. It got enough out of hand that I taught him how to gently grab the brim of his hat, lifting it and saying, "thank you, ma'am (or sir)." Mom's showboat stole the show again. I know, we, as mothers, all say the same thing about our children. THAT is part of our job. Seriously though, I wouldn't brag if he wasn't worth it. That kid. He's something else. So, we walked all around the 100,000 square feet of the stadium collecting a huge and heavy bag of free swag. My friend is doing super awesome with her endeavors. "Change your coffee. Change your life." You go, girl! I felt so good that we were able to be there to show our support. When we were departing, she and her husband apologized for being so busy that we didn't get to visit. Wha-what??? I told them that if we had had time to visit, I would have been very disappointed. I congratulated them on the changes coming to pass for them and we were headed home.

Since I woke this morning, I have had a lot of self-doubt and questionning going on in the back of my mind. I suppose I can thank the Gemini duality for being able to carry one emotion on my heart and wearing another on my face. Only those nearest and dearest to my heart can see through my facade. I have been wondering, like I often do, am I where I am supposed to be? Am I doing everything that I am supposed to be doing? Is there anything, anywhere that I am missing? My love informed me during this time of reflection that I spend too much time overanalyzing everything rather than just seeing what is right in front of me. Okay. I can give some creedence to that statement. He keeps me grounded; one of the reasons I love him. He makes me take pause when my brain is going faster than I can actually think. However, I was simultaneously having a conversation with a dear, old friend. Yes, the same one that I referenced catching up with the other day. It seems that we are experiencing something on the supernatural front. I know he is going to read this, roll his eyes and remind me that he is not a dreamer. Oh well. She agreed to dream with me today and as it turns out, dreaming equates to brainstorming when not done alone. It has been several years since I was privy to an experience like this. I've shrugged this feeling off before and kept to what is real only to look back and wonder "what if?" I am going to follow this feeling through this time. I know I have also mentioned that I have had a bad habit of quitting and running in the past. I have proven to myself over the last few years that I CAN finish what I start and I CAN get the results I hope for. So, there is more hard work until we get there, but it is going to happen! You know, it's like this: if the finished product ends up only being something for us, it will be complete and all of this emotion will not have been wasted.

Back to my semi-meltdown. I'm very busy questionning everything that I am, want to be, wish I was, am trying to be, am hoping for, am striving for, have been working toward. You know. Pretty much everything. Am I the best mom that I can be? Ahhh. Well, while I'm busy asking all these rhetorical questions, I remember a sign I saw on a church when I lived in Weatherford. It said, "I tried to hear from Heaven but I talked the whole time." See? I told you I go through this phase all the time. When I saw that sign, I just zipped it and went into a meditative state so I could feel the answers to my questions. I looked over as we passed a church in Burleson and it said, "Be still for I am God." This isn't stuff I would typically share with any audience. One of the many lessons I learned from my Father..."There are two things you should never talk about with friends; politics and religion." Of course, me being the rebel that I am, I have tested this hypothesis with many very close friends. We managed to evolve from the conversation friendship still intact. I try to be careful in my talking to people to bring either subject up. I don't ever want a difference in beliefs to come between me and a friend. Anyway. That being said, I do not mean to offend anyone with my God-talk and hope that no one does take offense. Just remember, that is why we should be proud to be Americans. We can openly believe whatever we choose and we are free to speak of it as well. Trust me, no one will ever get judgement here.

Okay, okay. Back to the day. So, I shed many tears today. Some were out of frustration, some out of confusion and finally, some out of enlightenment. I am really ecstatic that we made it through that cycle in a span of less than eight hours. This can usually ride like a roller coaster for weeks at a time. I bet you might be wondering what my final thought was before this blog. Well, maybe you thought no such thing. I suppose it is moments like this that good ole Pop taught me not to assume. Haha. Anyway. I am thinking of changing the theme of my blog here. Yes, I will always want to tell everyone what is on my heart to say but in the other corner of my mind I am writing a fantastic piece of fiction. I blame said dear friend for that in the most positive of ways. As I wait for her to complete the book that I have been reading for her, I am so inspired. Like incredibly so. I want to test some things out on you all. Would you be willing participants? This could be the start of something big.... Stay tuned.....

P.S. Don't forget to like my new fan page http://www.facebook.com/whatinsidevoice

Success!!!!

With "Violet" by Hole in the background...circa 1994, I can say that this week was a success! I am ready to enjoy the weekend. I am planning on spending some good, QT (quality time) with my little Mister. It is looking like his soccer game tomorrow will be cancelled. Boo. That's okay. We have plenty of other stuff to do.

Before I tend to the weekend, let's talk. First things first, I weighed today! I managed to miraculously melt five pounds off!!! I have noticed that the "bye-bye" arms are more untoned than they ever have been. Garsh. I have some weights around here some where.... Chances are that the five pounds this week were all water, but I don't care. The scale said what the scale said! Let's see what next Friday brings.

Next on the agenda, other stuff. It has been a crazy busy week. I would like to reiterate, I don't know how I ever had time for a full-time job. I feel like I have six now. I am also, as of this week, a self-appointed literary agent. I can't tell any more than that. She that entrusted me with her work might kill me if I tell you any thing else. I will tell you this. I'm at the conclusion of Chapter 4 and am already lost in the story. Just wait. It will be a best seller. I've been a networking fool this week, too. Calling and talking to people and setting people up to talk. All of this with no naps!!!!

I am still awaiting the offer letter. I have harassed those folks enough that I have the possibly expected time line of next week-ish. That would mean that I should start training by the end of the month and will be set to rock next month!!!!

So, I have a lot to accomplish over the next few weeks. I feel pretty good about all that I have done over the last month. Plus, my house is clean and all the laundry is done. I did sign up to volunteer at a couple of places. I figured why not? I've got time to do it. Might as well! Well, I have to scoop up the Munchkin from school. I'll talk to y'all later. Until then, keep dreaming and stay tuned....

P.S. Readers you have an assignment. Keep track of how many times per day you hear "Snooki." I have counted five today and in the most random places. It is ridiculous!

Eloquence becomes...me?

I had a really good conversation with an old friend today. The talk was good for my soul. So funny that so much time can go by.... What one person remembers coupled with the other's remembrances are what makes the memory.It makes me wonder about all of these people that I still get to catch glimpses of now. The past meets the present. What things do they remember about me? I make the assumption that the way I remember their face in a moment from the past probably isn't a moment that sticks out in their memory. During the conversation, we reminisced about several things that are only important to us. There were laughs and apologies and thank yous. I think this particular friendship was the first of my life that revolved around life changing events. In retrospect, that friendship was my first introduction to adulthood. I didn't realize it at the time. You know how it is. Early in life you just think you will live forever.

There have been times as life has marched on, and I have done my appearing and disappearing act, that I have been surprised that certain people were still in contact. I finally realized that it wasn't so much that they still saw these people now and again but that the friendships I saw developing when we were kids we cemented then. These folks have been friends all their lives. All the time growing up, I thought I was normal. My parents kind of messed that up making the first half of my name Aud(Odd). Anyway. I thought it was typical to have most friendships only for a season. I had done that all my life. In another self-reflecting exercise that has spanned the last several years, I found myself to be aptly described as fickle and flighty. I've been doing everything in my power to change those characteristics of myself. I want to be thought of as stable and reliable. I think I've managed to get about half way there in reputation. I've completed a lot of things. That makes me feel better, but here I am in my mid-30s about to change industries, start a new career and in my third residence in three years. Here's to hoping I find all of the happiness that I have been chasing without realizing I was doing it. Self awareness is the most important step in changing. I am ready. I skipped across the entire lake on stepping stones. I am ready to be anchored to the shore. So, until tomorrow when I do the dreaded weigh-in, stay tuned.....

Two for the money

I have to admit that I have watched American Idol at least eight of the now eleven seasons. I really had no idea there were this many people in the country that can sing. I mean, really? It just blows my mind how many great voices there are out there! I follow that appreciation with, why not me? Oh, I can do plenty of things very well. I guess I will leave the singing to the gifted. I do like the dynamic of the judges much better now. Not that the Simon, Paula and Randy trio didn't work but Steven, JLo and Randy brings a whole new feel to the show. Drat. Why do I have to be addicted to this show? I would be able to write a bit better if it wasn't distracting me. I guess it is just my love of music. THAT I blame on my Dad. There is a story about how he and Mom brought me home from the hospital. Dad sat me in my carrier in front of a 15" speaker and turned it up. That was supposed to soothe me? I, as a mother, would never think to do that. Well, apparently it worked and I have had a love of music ever since. Funny, I just made the connection of that story and how I love to sit as close as possible to the biggest speaker at a concert. It is awesome when it is so loud that my eyeballs jiggle. Aw, guilty pleasures.

I think I am really going to be made an offer at the new company for the new and different opportunity that I have mentioned in previous posts. I still can't give details. I will as soon as the offer letter is in hand. I am super duper stoked about it! I mean, I have been on fire since Monday. The aspect that excites me the most? I get to help people! FINALLY! I have found a path that I can help people without being being bled or puked upon. I didn't even have a chance to get into that field. Through some various situations, I was able to realize that I just don't have the compassion to care for sick people that I don't love. Bless every single person that finds a related calling in health care. I just assumed it was better to have this realization and move on to something different. I have a terrible overactive, negative imagination. I kept picturing taking care of some anonymous person's grandmother and the two of us getting sick on one another. Nope. Not the right career choice for me. Shortly after that realization, I ended up at an employment agency. I got placed as a receptionist for a general contractor. All I could think was, "Wow. Everyone wears jeans, they smoke or dip and they cuss! This is awesome." Oh, another selling point for me was that if I made a mistake, I probably wouldn't kill anyone.

Now writing has completely distracted me from Idol. Ha! I haven't been lucky enough to catch anymore Access Hollywood or TMZ but somehow I have heard "Snooki" at least five times. Oh, the other hot topic is this KONY 2012. I'm not sure what that is about yet. I do intend to join the masses and find out. If someone can give me some cliff notes, that would be greatly appreciated. I have spent so much time researching over the last couple of weeks my head really might explode. I think I'm going to take a couple of days off. So, stay tuned and dream big!

Catsup!

Don't you just love when a day just gets away from you? I had so many plans on my agenda yesterday. I invested several hours yesterday morning working on the new career possibility. When I looked up, I had a very short amount of time to get ready and out the door to my SBA meeting. I made the time crunch, grabbed my purse and keys when the phone rang. My meeting was being referred to another entity. I graciously changed into my favorite jeans and sweatshirt to get back to the task I had spent the morning on. The next thing I knew I had to pick up my son and attend to our evening obligations. By the time the day was done, I was exhausted. So, I am playing catch up on my writing.

First, I will be weighing in on Friday. Yes, I know hitting the scale too often isn't a good thing. My problem? I obsess. At least talking about it here is keeping me from checking the numbers every morning. Let's hope there has been some kind of progress...

I made it to the library yesterday. I gave up my printer the move before last. Paying a couple of bucks for printing there is just fine with me. The money collecting machine was a good opportunity to leave behind a dime. I fed in the dollar bills and my change clinked into the return. I pulled it out and left behind the dime. I love to leave change behind in any vending machine. Sometimes, I walk away leaving whatever was returned. I always wonder who found it. Was it that little kid sticking his kiddie fingers in the return or was it that person that the machine ate a quarter? You never know.

Stay tuned.....

Monday, Monday....

Today. Well, it was Monday. I actually can't believe it is almost over! First, since I am no longer a part of the full-time, 8-5 workforce, I accidentally caught a running of Access Hollywood. Okay. I am going to ask a question. Who the hell is Snooki and why do we care so much about her pregnancy status??? From what I have learned through....osmosis, I suppose, she was or has been a star role on Jersey Shore???? What is so great about her that we care about her every move? Why is it important that we see pictures of her with no make-up on? I mean, I somewhat understand the fascination with Lady Gaga's naked facial but, Snooki? Really? From what our friend, Wendy Williams, said this morning (yes, I watch her) she is a whopping 24 years old. Of course, she looks fine without make-up! I did ten years ago myself!!! That's all I have to say about her. I am just utterly perplexed why the fascination. Perhaps I would understand if I followed Jersey Shore. Unfortunately, I don't or didn't. AHHH! Blohan is making a comeback via SNL? I was home and watched that this weekend, too. As busy as I am, I don't know how I have so much free time for trash television. Oh, god. I am accidentally watching Access Hollywood again? You know, I remember a time when celebrities were people to look up to and, possibly, emulate. What happened? Did our parents feel the same way as they watched us graduated into the next generation of paparazzi exploitation? I wonder. The celebrities of "now" I don't recognize nor can I relate to. Sad for our generation, it seems like all the fame has either fizzled or passed away.

Anyway! On to my list of "to do's" for the week.

#1 weigh in. Yes, I did step on the scale this morning. He has patiently been sitting on the floor of the bathroom for months now. He suffered through a move to a new dwelling just to be ignored for another long two months. I knew the plumpness is my face wasn't my imagination. I have 23 glorious pounds of winter insulation to lose. Now that my son is about to turn four, I am officially out of excuses. It is a sad day when you were thinner when your baby was six months old as compared to his fourth birthday. I know just about everyone is endorsing this program or that program for weight loss. People, carefully invest your money. It is a pretty simple thing....control what you put in your mouth!!!! Haha. I know some of you went there. It really is that simple. There are a couple of other pieces of advice I can give: stay out of drive throughs and restaurants, eat less and get moving! Most eatery establishments offer healthy choices or whatever but the fact remains, if you didn't cook it, you don't know what went into it! I will be giving up the four wheeled transportation to take the trash out and no more late snacks which usually turn into eating more than a snack. I've been cooking quite a bit but none of it has been "good." I am promising myself to make a visit to the library this week to find an alternative to the comfort food I have been cooking over the winter months. Enough of that subject.

#2 met with the trainer at the new company. I still don't officially have an offer but I feel like it is about to happen. I have envisioned my success and know it will happen. As it turns out, said trainer is just that, but he is actually another step in the selection process. As some of you may know, I am slightly resistant to being told what to do. I was able to come to the realization today that the only reason these guidelines exist is because they work. So, I will be working diligently to prove that I am worth the investment. I will find out more at the end of this week.

Well, the rest of my list is yet to come this week. How does my T.V. keep ending up on Access Hollywood! Haha. It is a travesty that the faces I actually recognize are all withered.... Anyway. See y'all tomorrow. Stay tuned.....

This week's preview

I was going to wait until tomorrow but I couldn't stand the anticipation. Tomorrow is a big day and the start of a new week. On the calendar....

#1 weigh-in. Ugh. I am NOT looking forward to that. I just know that this new tube I have acquired around my waist is not working for me. I don't plan to disclose the number on the scale but I think talking about it will make me more accountable. I am going to give some helpful hints on how to diminish the muffin top as well.

#2 meet with a trainer at a new company for a completely new position. This should be interesting. I have a pretty good idea of what the training will involve. It will be a second school endeavor added to my list of daily tasks. I can do it.

#3 meet with the SBA. Yes, on top of new class commitments and a new career, I am toying with the idea of starting a business. The details are top secret for now.

#4 soccer with the boy. I have volunteered to take charge of one of his classmates. His parents have agreed to let me pick him up from school and cart him to soccer practice. I plan to take full advantage of the little time that I have with him. I'm going to work with him and my son on their U4 soccer skills. I just love that I will truly be a carpooling soccer mom now.

#5 get back in touch with my cynical side. I think this will require some smack talking.

Okay. So, there it is. A brief overview of what my week's plans are. Stay tuned....

Topic of the Day 4

Today was a good day! I have to say, today was a pretty spectacular day. I met a dear friend for a three hour lunch at Macaroni Grill. Yes, three hour lunch! I love not having a timeline to follow every day. I feel so liberated. I've been "working" my butt off. Even if I am not seeing the monetary fruits of my labor quite yet, it will come. I do know that I feel more fulfilled and productive than I have in a long, long time.

So, when the waitress was showing me to the table today, she asked if I was enjoying my Friday. For the first time, I really felt Joel Osteen. I simply told her, "Every day is a Friday!" Ha! I have never, ever felt that way before. I feel so free! I mean, I am actually pursuing several things that I WANT to do. I am having such an incredible time. Again, I reiterate, life is so short and it is so important to treasure every moment. I know, we have all heard this a gazillion times in our life. I know I'm not presenting some moment of enlightenment to the world. I just want to give my ten cents (remember my dime thing?) worth of a reminder.

Starting this blog has motivated me to set a new daily goal. Do something nice outside of anything I would normally do. This goal is great for my attitude. Every situation I am in, I feel like I am seeing with new eyes. It is pretty cool. I am constantly looking for ways to do nice things for people.

Out of character for me, but I am short on words today. Here's to changing attitudes one dime at a time. Stay tuned....

Topic of the Day 3

Today was a good day! Well, nothing spectacular happened but it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the temperature was over 80 degrees and I didn't have to put makeup on! Yeah! I love a ball cap and ponytail day.

I spent the day waiting for the opportunity to give a dime. I didn't find one. I did have a couple of chances to be nice to people I don't know. I guess there are some days that are better for giving than others. I did have a couple of chances to force myself on people. You know I took FULL advantage of that! There was the girl in the drive through at the taco place, one of my son's teammates at soccer and the lady walking into the building at the school. Oh. I did make a delivery for a friend to help save time, too. It is so funny. I know it has only been a couple of days but I find myself really evaluating and analyzing things around me throughout the day that I want to write about. I think to myself, "What can I do in this moment that is nice?"

There was a point in my life that everything seemed to revolve around negativity. I felt like I walked around with a black cloud over my shoulder. When my mood would delve even deeper into anger and bitterness, I swear I saw lightning shoot from that cloud. I was finally made aware by someone I care deeply about that I was miserable to be around. I don't take very well to criticism, so it took, um, a while for me to "get" it. Then, after I sat around and realized that it was true, it was time to turn that frown upside down. I have always been a silver lining person, an optimist, someone who will always give people the benefit of the doubt, trust until given a reason not to. I just couldn't figure out where it all went wrong. I am thankful beyond measure that I do have someone that loves me so unconditionally that I was allowed to work through it.

From that experience, I have grown into an even more optimistic person. I do not claim perfection by any means. We are all still works in progress, in my opinion. It has been close to two years now that I have been united with this new and improved me. I love self-reflection. So, all of that being said, I am pleased to do whatever I can to help change attitudes, even if it is one dime at a time. Until next time, stay tuned.....