Some of my Favorite Things Part 1

It seems like we spend a lot of time talking and thinking about the things we like the least. I wanted to take a minute to think and talk about some of my favorite things. Attitude is all about what you allow yourself to think about. Right?

#1 Little Mister's 3rd Birthday

So far this was the best party I have thrown for him. I mean, every year is pretty good but this one was one I will have a hard time topping. The cake above is almost identical to the one we had.

The gymnasium Starbus made a visit to our party at Love Street Park. The kids were super excited to play on the bus that has been set up specifically for gymnastics. Little Mister was acquainted with the bus through the awesome pre school he was attending at the time.

The Starbus was followed by the coolest ice cream truck you've ever seen compliments of Juliebean's Ice Cream. Yes, we successfully monopolized almost the whole park for the couple of hours that both buses were there.

There were a bunch of people there. It was our best turn out to date. My Mom and Dad were there. It was the first time in over 15 years they were in the same place at the same time. My sister was there with my nephew. It was just, hands down, one of the best birthday memories ever.

I usually take the easier way out and have the party at a place that does the party for you. You know, like Chuck E. Cheese or something. Gag. I felt inspired to put the entire party together myself and I did. The balloons were perfect. The cake was perfect. The decorations were perfect. The April weather was perfect. All the kiddos there were perfect. The gifts he opened with enthusiasm were perfect. It was awesome.

So, this piece is the beginning of a series of posts for me. I'm going to tell you about some more of my favorite things and memories over the next several days. I hope this inspires you all to think about the good and let go of the bad. Replace negative thoughts with happy ones. Keep dreaming!! Stay tuned....

Another Award? For me? No way!

This awesome award bestowed on my by Food Thoughts of a Chef Wannabe really appeals to my vanity. You know, I started this blog and everything that, as it turns out, go with it just because I really had nothing better to do. Who knew I would enjoy it so immensely? Who knew I would make such great friends? So thank you Food Thoughts of a Chef Wannabe for bestowing the award on me.

Well, on to the award. It is an honor for a fellow blogger to recognize and appreciate the efforts put forth in this venue. You know, it is somewhat like having your diary published and when someone tells you that it IS worth reading it feels pretty darn good.

Now, these awards are NOT given for free. That's for sure. There is a short list of things that one must do to be in compliance and not have the award revoked.

1. Thank and link back to the awarding blog.

2. Answer Seven Questions

3. Provide Ten Random Facts about Yourself

4. Award seven other deserving bloggers

#1 What is your favorite song?



Just one? It is impossible for me to pick just one song. I love music. I love

every genre. Every artist has something special to offer. Okay. The one that has been very relevant right now is this GoTye Somebody That I Used To Know. Such a sad, sad song.

#2 What's your favorite dessert?

Really? Just one? Okay. I'm a bread/pastry sucker. Give me a piece of cake, any cake, and I'm happier than a pig in you know what. Do donuts count as dessert? I guess not since they're served for breakfast.

#3 What do you do when you are upset?

Huh. This is a difficult one. It all depends on the situation, the circumstances and the people involved. The short answer? I yell. I am a yeller. For some reason, I think higher volume gets the point across better. So, when I am upset, I tend to curse (a lot) and yell. If I am REALLY, REALLY upset, I shut down. There is no conversation to be had. I got nothin if I am beyond pissed.

#4 What is your favorite pet?

I love pets. There isn't a loyalty or unconditional love that compares to the love between a pet and person. I think that I have acted responsibly on this topic. I have chosen to not have a pet because I don't think I can offer a proper home for one. I know that I stay busy enough that neglect might even be an issue. Once I buy Little Mister a house and things get more settled, I would love for us to have an addition to the family. I'm crossing my fingers that he wants a pup.

#5 Which do you prefer, white or wheat?

It matters not. See question #2. I love bread. My hips don't thank me but that is a fact.

#6 What is your biggest fear?

Gosh. I have so many. Yeah, I know. I'm all bad ass and everything. I'm not supposed to be scared of anything. Well, I am. I guess topping that list is death. No, I'm not scared of the process or leaving earth. I am scared that I will leave my precious son without his Mom.

#7 What is your attitude mostly?

Hmmm...is this a trick question? My attitude changes by the seconds in an hour and hours in a day. Sometimes I think I should be medicated but mostly I just embrace it. I feel deeply and have emotions. That's me. Most days I am positive and find the silver lining in any situation.

10 Random Facts About Me

1. I have never had a cavity

2. I just discovered that I LOVE birthday cake ice cream with marshmallow creme

3. I like to pop zits

4. I have tweezed my eyebrows since I was about 12 and have waxed them for 12 years. If I didn't, I would have a unibrow.

5. Braveheart is one of my most favorite movies.

6. I learned how to kiss by kissing myself...in the mirror.

7. I gave my son a middle name to rhyme with mine and my mother's.

8. I have loved a lot but only been in love once.

9. My second toe is really long.

10. I have freckles.

The rules say I have to pass this award on to seven other bloggers so here it goes! I have nominated friends for awards but I am going to use this opportunity to spot light some people that I don't know well but want to get better acquainted with.

1. Diary of a Mad Woman - Now I just discovered this one. She is very real and has been through some real shit. What I have read so far I have really enjoyed. Let's learn more about her together!

2. Mayor Gia - I discovered Gia when I first started. She's wicked funny and draws some great illustrations to go with her blogging.

3. I Want A Dumpster Baby - This lady has had some serious struggles in her life, too. I love that she is so open with her experiences and has maintained a superb sense of humor. She cracks me up and you will love her.

4. Mommy Unplugged - She is real. Period. And hilarious!

5. The Lucky Mom - We've chatted a few times. She is a sharer or wisdom, philosophy and jokes.

6. Put on Your Big Girl Panties - This lady has been very kind to me on several occasions. No matter how busy she is, she always takes the time to return a hello. Plus, she's a riot. Oh and she loves vintage pin ups!

7. My Group Therapy - I think the name gives you a good starting point. Material definitely worth reading.

Thank you again FoodThoughtsOfaChefWannabe for the award! It was a fun assignment.

And that's it for me, gang. You know the drill. Stay tuned....



A Family Divided

My Grandmother passed away last week. She lived a long life. She would have turned 98 this summer...the day before my birthday. You know, I really felt 'okay' with her passing. I mean, geez. She lived a freakin long life! I held it together pretty well until after the rosary and then completely fell apart after the service. There were so many feelings of sadness. How I will miss my Grandma, let me count the ways.

Jason Aldean's "Dirt Road Anthem" will forever have the memory of the funeral procession to the grave site for me. As we drove through the town, all I kept thinking was I will never come here to see her again. All the memories that I have carried with me and thought about over the entire course of my life will have no new ones added. Ever again. I have been so blessed to not have to experience the loss of a loved one that was so close to my heart. I did at age four and somehow managed to callous myself to loss until now. I honestly think I suffered a small amount of PTSD. I couldn't keep my thoughts together. I spent the rest of the time away and through the beginning of the next week to sort through my feelings.

The one thing I was extraordinarily thankful for was that everyone had come together. Even though the one, true commonality we all had was the connection of blood lines, we were all there. It was fantastic to see faces I hadn't seen in far too long. I also actually got to meet relatives I had never known before. Then came another wave of sadness for me.

We were all at the service together, but we weren't together. I know every family has their ups and downs and sometimes it is impossible to all be on the same page. I thought that this one time, to celebrate the life of a woman that we all loved, we would really be together. In one place. At one time. It didn't happen. I always thought that it was just distance that kept us all apart. Was it?

I'm sure there are stories and hurts that I don't even know about but, damn, I didn't really love spending my time there driving from place to place to make sure we at least saw everyone there. Why couldn't we all be in one place? Why couldn't we pull our family together to celebrate this life? Why couldn't love and kindness prevail just this one time?

What I did discover is that we are all more alike than any of us want to admit. Any time I have heard something not so complimentary about anyone over the years, I let it go in one ear and out the other. What I discovered while I was there was that we are all the same to some degree or another. We all hold grudges. We are all judgemental. Maybe I'm just getting wise in my adult age (I somewhat doubt that) but it just seems like even after almost a century of life, life is too short. There is never time to right all the wrongs. There is never time to be all we want to be. There is never time to love everyone we should. So, the lesson I took away from all of this is that life is too short to hold on to anger and resentment. I never want to be that person again. I never want anyone to look at me or talk to me and feel that I have held onto bad feelings. I never want anyone to wonder if I love them when they should KNOW I do.

As I looked at all of the aging faces, mine included, I realized that it was the last time I would ever see many of them. I tried to hug enough. I tried to smile enough. I tried to chat enough. I tried to feel whole even with holes gaping in my soul. It was pretty hard to walk away from this reunion of sorts feeling good about being in a family divided; knowing there is nothing I could ever do to bring them all back together.

Four things I have learned...

Many of you might know that I found myself unemployed at the end of January this year...for the second time. I was let go from the previous position in September of last year as a victim of a decrease in work force. Even during the tumultuous times of our economy, I didn't worry either time. I am actually thankful that I have had the last several months to think and reflect and weigh different options. For the first time in my life, I have had the opportunity to pursue things I really WANT to do. I haven't been so stretched thin, financially, that I had to hurry up and get another job. It has been pretty nice, actually. So, I wanted to share with all of you four things that I have learned over the last, almost, four months.

1. I have learned to NOT worry about money.
This is a very strange concept for me. I have ALWAYS worried about money. This is a subject that has created MANY sleepless nights for me. Am I going to be able to pay the bills? Will I be able to buy groceries? What am I going to do if I don't have enough money? You get it, right? Well, when one finds one's self without a method of earning money, this should be the TOP of the worry list. Strangely, I have learned that expending that energy doesn't accomplish anything. Worry never earned a dollar. What I CAN tell you is that faith and hope is enough to keep you afloat. Not everyone believes in God and I am sensitive to that. However, He is who I thank for the peace of mind and having enough. I have had enough to not give up anything in my life over the last several months because I have enough. I know, with absolute certainty, that the right things happen when the timing is right.

Don't worry about money. Just be smarter with it when you have it!

2. It is possible to teach a mature dog new tricks.

I know. I'm not an "old" dog. The fact remains that it DOES get harder to learn completely new things as you get older. I remember being a smart ass eighteen year old and getting so frustrated with the older generation for not being able to aptly use a computer. It wasn't that I was smarter. I just had a still developing brain and that meant that new concepts weren't lost on me. It is a fact that the brain is completely developed at age 25 and the age of the "sponge" is over. It is also proven that the brain, like other organs, gets older and isn't as strong or responsive as it was. I think it is a terrific accomplishment for adults to change careers and learn an entirely new trade. I've been undergoing exactly that challenge. I have not achieved fully realized success as of yet but I am going to. No, it has not been as easy as it was ten years ago to learn. I have to do all kinds of new things to trick my mind into remembering details. I have calendars galore to remember dates and appointments. I didn't use to have to do that. The point here is, don't sell yourself short, you CAN learn new stuff. You just have to take a different approach to it than you previously have.

You CAN learn; it just takes a new approach.



3. Facebook is therapy for so many.

I have realized that the entertainment provided on Facebook is therapeutic to so many people. There is more to it than just keeping up with people and stalking people. I have had a profile on there for years and never really did much with it. I have discovered over the last several months that it really is a world of it's own. I have found people that created their own pages for entertainment, to vent, to be themselves and they all have a following of fans that relate. How wonderful is that? And to think, the only cost is related to providing yourself an Internet connection. Amazing. I have made a bunch of really awesome friends in the process and introduced them all to each other. It is fun. I feel like I owe it to the people that have taken the time to enjoy my efforts to keep entertaining. I have also found that this is the attitude of the others that have taken on this lifestyle as well. I hope that if one of us offers a smile or a relative story to someone that desperately needs it, we have made a difference.

4. I have learned that I CAN do anything.

I remember being a kid and my Dad always telling me I could be and do whatever I ever wanted. Why did it take me over thirty years to understand this? I was told the other day that "energy is wasted on youth." I tend to agree with this statement. There is so much that I want to do still and now my energy is not what it once was. However, along with this new wisdom, I am better at managing that energy and putting it toward the "right" things. As most of you know, I wrote a book. Yeah. I did. I sat down and wrote a flipping book! I am working on a new career. There is still a lot of work to be done on both but they are progressing....slower than I would like but the completion is up to me. The point is, no matter your age or circumstances, don't sell yourself short. You CAN do anything with the right amount of effort.





On that note, I will tell you farewell for now. I hope that you all take the time to listen to your heart, have faith, keep hoping, keep dreaming, keep working and stop worrying. Remember, worry never earned a dollar. Much love to all of you. If you don't believe in yourself, I will believe in you! That's all for now. Stay tuned....





Who I want to meet....

As you all know, "celebrities" kind of leave a mark on me. No, it isn't like I read all the trash mags and want to live through them. I am always more concerned with what makes people who they are. I want to know people's stories. I've been keeping up with the headlines and reading about E L James. She sounds like the coolest lady. I don't want to meet her with a goofy grin on my face unable to form words nor do I want to interview her like a journalist. I want to sit and have coffee with her and hear her story.

I have requested her book for Mother's Day. You know I can't really spend money on myself for frivolities. Never really been able to do that and now I really can't with a clear conscience because I'd rather spend that "extra" money (on gas!) on my son or to spend time with friends and family. I am not intrigued by the subject matter as much as I want to know her writing voice. 50 Shades of Grey IS the hottest thing out right now in the world of literary works. I am so excited for her even if she isn't just over the moon about all of this wild success. Some of the best things in life are just happy accidents.

For someone that has written a book, I don't read like I should. Everyone keeps telling me to read, read, read. Well, guess what? (I never know whether to punctuate that with a question mark or what. It really isn't a question and it is rhetorical anyway.) Now that I've been told to do it, it is soooo hard for me to want to. I have been this way my entire life. Tell me to do something and I ain't gonna be able to do it. Never tell me I must and it will be done seventy five times over. I really do only want to read this trilogy to see what her writing voice sounds like!

I have learned that you can read into someone just by listening or by reading, whichever may be the case. With this Facebook fan page of mine, I have been afforded the opportunity to get to know so many people that I never would have known otherwise. I find myself trying to figure out their story through the voice I hear in their posts. I probably should have done some sort of psychology work but then it would be what I HAVE to do and not from the heart. At least that's the story I am going to stick to.

Among those people, I have conversed with some great authors. I say they are great because they did it. They stepped out of their comfort zone and published a book which can be one of the most private things...like even more private than the color of your underwear. At any rate. I'm going to move forward with my writing and all the new friends I have made. I just thought I would let y'all know that this woman should definitely be friends with me. Stay tuned.....

Is it all coming together?

That. Right there. Yes, that picture. That is how the inside of my head feels right now. I am trying, desperately, to maintain focus. "Eye on the prize..."

See? I find this terribly difficult right now because I feel like I'm running three different races at the same freakin' time. Last I checked, we still had not perfected cloning so I don't see how that is possible. I am exhausted. I've tried to back up and regroup to slow things down a little but the effort is futile. No matter what I do, I am still pulling myself in a million directions and am working with the end in mind for each endeavor. So, I'm just trying to concentrate on what is done and what the next step for each is.

Big news...I got the cover art for the book in this morning! The book is no longer just a thought or a dream. It. Is. Real. Advertisement will start in July and it will be released in October. Holy shit. Yeah.

Met with my manager today on the other deal. I will be a fully employed and licensed financial advisor by June. Holy shit, again.

The other school situation is still on-going. Still on course to have an MBA in July of 2013.

My Facebook fan page is creeping up on 3,000 people. That's really cool, too. Go see it... www.facebook.com/whatinsidevoice


Well, those are quick updates on what is going on with me. I'm here to remind you that perseverance is key. Keep dreaming. It can come true! Stay tuned....

CHEESE!

Hahaha...THE END.

Just kidding.

Yes, that is me. I had laser teeth whitening for the first time today. It seemed to do some good. I just thought that the picture perfect moment before we began was too awesome to pass up.

I went to Smiling Bright in Fort Worth, TX. I have wanted to do this but didn't really want to fork out the cash to pay for it. I found a deal on Living Social and couldn't pass it up. When I Googled the company name, it appears that there are still good deals out there. I've heard some people to be wary if you have sensitive teeth. I guess I don't because there has been no pain. My smile is about six shades whiter than when the process began this afternoon. I was so impressed that I made a second appointment two weeks from now. One fan said that I needed to be careful because my teeth might get darker after they rehydrate. I will report on what happens between now and my second visit.

So, what else have I been up to while neglecting my blog. Gosh. I've been really busy!! I know, we all are. I've been trying to stay caught up on this new career I am trying to embark on. Littly, tiny roadblocks keep popping up, but I will navigate around them! Now, if I could just get my brain unscrambled to get organized, I would be 100% better off.

I've been writing some. I am less than 9,000 words away from hitting my goal of 50K. Just need to get it done.... I'M WORKING ON IT! : )

My other school is kicking my butt, too. Halfway through this class.

You know who I've been thinking about lately? Heath Ledger. I miss his face on the big screen. Here is my favorite look for him.

My little home has been a source of neglect lately, too. So, I have to run and get some laundry done. Don't forget to keep dreaming. Success is found OUTSIDE of the comfort zone. Stay tuned.....